The Lady Is A Leader, And She Leads With Love


“She opens her mouth with wisdom and in her tongue is the law of kindness” Proverbs 31:26

logo gifI cannot remember the day, but I can without a doubt remember the season and the reason, God deposited this particular scripture into my life.

I can recall being in an environment which allowed and somewhat celebrated verbal abuse.  It brings to mind how those who were subject to the spoken statements found numerous excuses or justification for this behavior.

As a Lady Leader, it was of utmost importance to my heart and the integrity of the ministry God had given me to possess a spirit of temperance. The Lord was moving me into an atmosphere where travel was quite frequent.  Revivals, conferences, workshops and seminars were and continue to be the evangelist ministry shared globally.  “Words of Wisdom” were being shared throughout the land. The impact of evangelism leaves a lifetime of hope, salvation and liberty.  The foundation of being a leader is acquiring and allowing God to develop the humility of a servant.

The Word of God states in Matthew 7:7, “seek and ye shall find…”  Therefore I knew my assignment  was to locate my divine instruction to serve effectively.  Allow me to share how The Lady Is a Leader’s ministry was developed in the Word!

  • She opens her mouth: She must open her mouth! She cannot view the hurt and wounds of others and turn a deaf ear.  She must be the voice of the voiceless, an encourager to the discouraged. She’s been assigned to the carry the glory of Christ.
  • With wisdom: A leader must gain the proper information and apply that information with wisdom.  Grow in your time of devotion this will lessen displays of unproductive emotions.  Think before you make a written or audible statement.
  • And in her tongue: She carries a prudent spirit herself, considering her statements carry forth future reconciliation for mankind.
  • Is the law of kindness: One of several translations state she has loving and faithful instruction.  The “law” of her character is consistent.  The instruction, anointing or direction placed in your heart to serve others is unfailing in season and out of season.

So, when you see “The Lady Is A Leader” and the many facets of her life, please know it does not come without sacrifice or dedication.  A burden has been placed upon my life to serve, and to serve with an abundance of love.  Always remember love conquers all!

Please accept my personal invitation
The 19th Annual Women of Power Women’s Weekend

Which includes 

The Lady Leader Breakfast Financial Lifeline Workshop

The Lady Leader-Dr. BJ Relefourd
Jean Parker
Ret. DAV/Journalist
Proofreading and Editing Services



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The Lady Is A Leader and She Welcomes The Arrival


logo gifThe Lady Leader welcomes the arrival of 2017.  I am not one to make resolutions; but to each his own.  I prefer to absorb the revelations placed in my life.  I admire witnessing what God reveals to me daily about people, situations and circumstances.  Most importantly I am humbled by what is revealed about myself.

I am forever grateful to have an opportunity to view in the mirror, the changes I need to make.  The transitions which must take place in order for me to become more effective.

I was told, there is nothing magical about a day, a month, or a year, and I totally agree.  However I also believe it is imperative that we make some wise decisions and live therein.  There is a song Tramaine Hawkins sang which holds the lyrics ,” You don’t have to stay in the shape that you’re in; the potter wants to put you back together again..”  This very moment is the right time to reposition, redirect and rearrange areas in our lives.

Embrace the arrival of opportunity and welcome it with great anticipation.  Each of us have been given yet another chance; use it wisely.

I returned, and saw under the sun, that the race is not to the swift, nor the battle to the strong, neither yet bread to the wise, nor yet riches to men of understanding, nor yet favour to men of skill; but time and chance happeneth to them all.  Eccl. 9:11

Can you imagine what an impact you can make on this new unchartered territory called-2017?  I encourage you to greet the new year with a burst of excitement!  Acknowledge, if you must the errors in judgments, decisions, and even relationships which may have been revealed to you for the truth of who or what they were.   Consider it or them as a valued lesson learned.  Once you’ve crossed that hurdle, its onward and upward.  I dare you to grow and glean in 2017!  You shall receive a Rapid Release!

I along with Women of Power, Inc. welcome you to be our special guest The 19th Annual Women’s Weekend
“My Labor Is My Lifeline” March 16-19, 2017-Visit for more information!  See ya there!

The Lady Leader-Dr. BJ Relefourd

Jean Parker

Ret. DAV/Journalist

Proofreading and Editing Services





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The Hours of The Holidays-Happy Thanksgiving!

Happy Thanksgiving

One of the most vulnerable times are those of the holidays.  There are many who absolutely enjoy the festivities, the comradery, the  decorations and the great feasts associated with the holidays.

While, there are others who absolutely dread, the family gatherings, the work place parties, and the sounds of music streaming in every department store.

This does not make either group of people wrong; it’s just that it’s their perception of the season.  I have come to recognize the ability to be sensitive to each group of individuals.

Many of  us, have had traumatic events which have occurred very close to a significant holiday during this season.  There may have been a death, a place of displacement,  a relationship, or something so horrific, it has left a hollow space where the joy once lived.

What may sound strange to some, is that everyone is not sitting around the table, laughing, smiling and reminiscing of wonderful memories gone by.  In reality there are some which are sitting around the table and the undisclosed or unmentioned issues are in fact very visible. Unspoken, but visible.793213041_250269

The dynamics of relationships are so vital, that it can cause the hours of the holidays to crawl by, slowly, unhurriedly and painfully.

I believe strongly in the power of prayer.    I honestly believe healing can take place in a matter which seemed unimaginable.  I also believe in the presence of having the ability to walk through the shadows of death with faith and perseverance.

Respecting  an individual’s hour, or the space they are residing at this time is so important.  Grief has many stages.  It is imperative to value the person’s present, honor their past, and speak positively into their future.

Some of us may have our homes decorated in a festive manner, and are looking forward to going, “over the rivers and through the woods to grandmother’s house”,  or however you choose to spend your holiday hours.  Please be aware  and sensitive of those who are not.  Take a moment and offer a moment of prayer or meditation for the hearts of those whose holiday hours are not the same.

I pray this hour for the person, who may be sitting alone.  I pray for the person who may be sitting in a group; and yet feeling alone.  I ask the Comforter  be about and within those whose family members have transitioned and there is now an empty chair at the table.  I believe the Lord may place upon you peace and comfort.  I extend a prayer of Thanksgiving to those who have a quality family unit, and give all praise to our Father!  This prayer we believe in the name of Jesus Christ, Amen.


Happy Thanksgiving,

The Lady Leaderlogo gif




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The Lady Is A Leader, As Well As A Vault

Happy Thanksgiving

logo gifBeing a Lady Leader is an amazing responsibility.  The spectrum of assignments is extensive and features  a wide range of flexibility.  A Lady Leader may find herself in the course of a week mentoring to a person who is preparing to enhance their life skills, to rolling up her sleeves and helping someone believe in themselves.  These tasks can also range from developing a curriculum to provoke someone’s God-given power, to being quiet and listening with an ear of empathy and love.

Throughout the many facets of Lady Leadership one of the most valuable for me is being a vault.  I really can’t recall when it happened, but early in the journey, I knew the importance of confidentiality and discretion.

A gossip goes around telling secrets, but those who are trustworthy can keep a confidence. 

Proverbs 11:13 

One of the worst wounds one can experience is after sharing an intimate conversation with someone whom you trust; you find out it has been shared.  It takes an enormous leap to unmask, unveil and release. It takes a vault, a person endowed with the sanctity and respect of privacy to uphold such an honored position.

One of many definitions of the word vault is;  a large room or chamber used for storage, especially an underground one.  ( A Lady Leader must have the capacity to value intimacy of the heart, as it will be used for storage.  You will be privy to information which may have crushed the interior soul of the person who’s sharing and because you were predestined as a vault in their journey, you are present.vault

On another level of discretion, a vault is used for underground storage.  As a Lady Leader, your confidentially is so crucial, that there is dialogue which is only shared with our Heavenly Father. It is carried as the pallbearers release us ashes to ashes, dust to dust back to the ground from which we came.

I never said being a Lady Leader was a simple assignment. I did, however; say it is an amazing responsibility.  It is not always comfortable being the reservoir to hold the tears, the pain and anguish of someone who feels helpless and hopeless.  Amazingly enough that very same person may be the one you are given the opportunity to witness their leap into the arms of faith, their catapult into a victorious lifestyle.  And for that we give God praise and ALL glory!

May you be ever strengthened with grace in your assignment, as a Lady Leader!

Dr. BJ Relefourd

The Lady Leader Welcomes

Jean Parker

Ret. DAV/Journalist

Proofreading and Editing Services


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The Lady Is A Leader, And She’s a Matriarch

The Lady Is A Leader And She’s A Matriarch

logo gifAs a youngster, I was always in awe of the matriarchs in my family and community.  These were women who in their own right were Lady Leaders whether in the home, the church, marketplace or the neighborhood.

A matriarch in the neighborhood was one where if you misbehaved, or acted  inappropriately, they had the authority to chastise you.  What was most interesting was that after the matriarch of the neighborhood would chastise you, once you returned home, so would the matriarch of your home.  It seems as though this is ancient history, yet it was only a few decades ago.

Adoring names would preface birth names with titles of affection such as Ma, Mu-Dear, Mama, and Mother to name a few.  It would not be unfamiliar to address a woman of mature stature as mother without the association of being in their bloodline.  It was a title of respect, endearment and love.

The month of September I was humbled to receive the 2016-21st Century Matriarch Award, along with some phenomenal women who I admire and respect.  As one of the honorees, we were being honored for longevity, consistency and integrity.  A matriarch doesn’t give up, through tears, wounds, hurts, and disappointment; you hang in there and believe God on behalf of those to whom we are given charge.matriarch

There are numerous women, men, boys and girls whom God has placed in my life who consider me among their spiritual mothers.  This is an assignment not to be taken lightly.  Unfortunately, what also occurs is when you are considered as someone’s spiritual mother, you also carry the hearts of those to whom you have been assigned.

I can recall my mother and many of the matriarchs of the community, shedding tears on behalf of someone else’s child, or wailing because of the misfortune of a family member of someone from another city, state or town.

I remember vividly the mothers displaying tears of anguish and overwhelming grief as a war casualty was brought home for burial.  It didn’t matter whether it was their child or someone else’s; it was a grieving mother’s broken heart.

A mother cares for her own offspring, as well as the seed of others with a love that is unimaginable if you don’t have a maternal spirit.  Being a female does not always mean you possess a maternal spirit, as we have witnessed in history, females who do have maternal characteristics, those who do not bond with their children and have no desire to do so.

A matriarch is defined as a woman who is the head of a family or tribe, commonly what we view today as a village.  A woman who against all odds remained in position to go into battle on behalf of her children or others.  Another definition describes a matriarch as an older woman who is powerful within a family or an organization. (Merriam-Webster)

As a Lady Leader or a matriarch, what we must understand and be confident in, is that all of our children do not look or act the same.  All of our seed, do not behave the same, and all of our children do not the same gifts, or talents; however, we love them the same.  Where we must use wisdom is having to ability to understand, learn and respect that each heart attachment is an individual.  Also as nurturing beings it is imperative that we not carry the guilt, and despondency when those we have carried in our hearts and womb act or react unfavorably in society.  Our assignment is to pray, discipline, love and forgive.

Before I formed thee in the belly I knew thee; and before thou camest forth out of the womb I sanctified thee, and I ordained thee a prophet unto the nations.   Jeremiah 1:5

Also, never compete with other mother figures in the lives of great men and women, honor the part you have been given in their hearts and in their lives. Each person placed in the lives of someone else is of importance-value your role. I believe this is where the powerful definition of a matriarch comes into play.

You are bestowed the power and confidence to pray without ceasing, the courage to intercede with fervency, and a non-wavering love, which is constant and does not change with the seasons. The Lord knew whom He would place in our lives, and equipped each of us for what each individual would need, a strong matriarch who is….  A Lady Leader


Dr. BJ Relefourd

The Lady Leader Welcomes

Jean Parker

Ret. DAV/Journalist

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The Lady Is A Leader And Respects The Right To Reflect


logo gifThe land of the free, the home of the brave.  One nation under God indivisible with liberty and justice for all.  These are just a couple of statements which are ingrained in my consciousness.  These are quotes from which throughout my life, I have taken the time to reflect upon.

When I hear these words ringing proudly in my ears, I imagine visions of families with checkerboard tablecloths having a picnic in the park. I also can picture, 3 bases loaded and a batter hitting a home run, and each player on the baseball field running rapidly around the bases, touching the home plate and each beginning a jubilant dance of triumph.  An amazing pastime in the USA; baseball.

I have also read those statements, and had to revisit their meaning, for in various periods of my life, I had to wonder if those phrases applied to me.  Some of the memories I reflect upon while reading or listening to a commentator varied completely from their illustration and my encounter or experience.

My reflections may be biased, due to my personal experiences, but as I read the words of numerous journalists and authors, so are numerous others.  What is important is that we each have been given a pocket of memory which causes us to make decisions, plans and conclusions.  We also have the ability to share our opinions, thoughts, values and differences.

There is a word which really channels my journey, and growth.  That word is respect.   The rights, I believe  is that we each should respect  each other and the fact that we each reflect differently.  Your story is not mine, nor mine yours however; respect my right to have my very own memory of what transpired.

Studies have shown that a photographic image may have as much or more impact as a spoken word.  While the spoken word may cause a triumph of heart, a portrait vividly reminds us daily of the occurrence or incident.   thinking1

Reflections are just that, a pondering or a meditation on a certain subject matter.  Throughout the years of course my reflections have varied, due to circumstances and the environment.  A maturity has calmed my “quick to speak” attitude.  “Be quick to listenslow to speak, and slow to get angry.” James 1:19

You may not agree with my reason to reflect in the manner that I do; which may be therapeutic for me, and releases me into my destiny.  I only ask, as I would you, as a Lady Leader to allow me to reflect in my own personal manner, and respect my right to do so.

Walking in Power,

Dr. BJ Relefourd

The Lady Leader Welcomes

Jean Parker

Ret. DAV/Journalist

Proofreading and Editing ServicesRadio stops

Join us on one of our many stops during The Lady Leader Virtual Book Tour——>
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The Lady Is A Leader and She Loves Imagery

logo gifThe Lady Is A Leader And She Loves Imagery

Let your light so shine before men, that they may see your good works and glorify your Father in heaven.

~Matthew 5:16

Imagery, for me, is the definition of “a picture says a thousand words”.  Imagery takes a blank canvas and permits creative influences; which share with the masses, the heart and soul of an artist.  The research on the word imagery was absolutely fascinating, eye opening, and most intriguing. defines in part imagery as the formation of mental images, or likenesses of things, or of such images collectively.

Photography is a form of imagery, and as The Lady Leader I am the first to admit a selfie, a photo shoot, or a casual spontaneous photo has my name written all over it.  Mind you, this was not always the case. This is most definitely a level of growth and maturity on my behalf.

I have the privilege to Co-Host a quarterly segment on Atlanta Live-WATC TV, entitled Sisters with Class.  The premise of the segment is to speak positively into the lives of younger women and share our experiences; the good, the bad, and the ugly.

The good thing about photographs is that it displays a likeness of the individual; however, on the other hand, a photograph (as imagery is defined) allows the viewer to form a mental image of the individual.  Some may say, it’s nobody’s business, or I’m not hurting anyone, or that’s the problem of the viewer and not mine.  Unfortunately, while each of us are welcome to have our own opinion, this is contradictory to the word of God.

Let’s view a few facts:statistics

  • It’s Nobody’s Business – The data shows 93% of hiring managers will review a candidate’s social media posts, photographs and blog entries ( Employers have terminated staff member in entry level to high management positions for actions associated with imagery.

So, yes… it is somebody’s business.

  • I’m Not Hurting Anyone – A recent article in Huffington Post entitled Moms/Why You Should Think Twice About What You Place on Social Media, shared how as a mother, a woman, or a lady, your posts could hurt someone.  It’s wise to think about your son or daughter, as our kids emulate their parents.  We should be their role model, their example, and the person they respect as having good moral judgement.Youth have harmed themselves, or others, due to embarrassment or bullying associated with a post their parent posted; while their peers teased them unmercifully.

So, yes… you may be hurting someone.

  • This Is The Viewer’s Problem Not Mine – True, the viewer of your imagery has a choice to view or not to view.  And, it is also true that you have the right to display what you like, since it is your freedom of speech.  However, the concern is, just because it’s legally correct, is it morally appropriate?

Not only for yourself, but also for the beautiful queens which are coming behind you.

So, no… it’s not just the viewer’s problem.

Of course, I have worn my share of hot pants, halter tops, and miniskirts. Fashion trends will come and go, and what’s completely hilarious, is that if you live long enough, they will re-appear with yet another runway designer.

The wisdom is in knowing whether or not the second run of the fashion trend projects the correct imagery for you.  You may possibly be in another position in life; i.e. parent or grandparent.  The imagery I now display, is something my children and grandchildren, would be proud of and can view with love.

The reason I am a proponent of imagery, is because at one time in my life, I allowed someone to silence my smile. I loved the image I saw, but because someone else felt I was not photogenic, I succumbed to the words which pierced my heart.

Now, I let my light, my smile, and my eyes shine before all, so that you can witness what God has done for me.

I would love for you to allow Him to do the same for you.

Walking in Power,

Dr. BJ Relefourd

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